lunedì 14 aprile 2025

Breaking and Entering - The Ghosts We Carry





It wasn't his habit to pass through those parts; simply, that evening, he was forced to do so because of a poorly maintained sewer.

It had literally burst. The pipe, clogged after years of neglect, had reached the point of no return on a summer afternoon, a little before the final of the European football championship began. Fausto didn't care much about France and Portugal meeting to compete for the trophy, but the game on television meant scrounging a dinner from Aurelio and Luisa—and not just that. There was Graziella, the blonde, with her sculptural breasts and just dumb enough to make him consider his chances. She had even believed his lie that he was profitably involved in certain ultra-modern air conditioning systems. In short, there was enough to make him cross the historic center during rush hour and to convince him to endure the canonical ninety minutes, with the concrete risk that they would turn into one hundred and twenty plus penalties.

The street was invaded by a substance of a slimy-gray color tending toward brown, dotted with a constellation of shredded paper and used condoms, scattered around like the sailboats of the America's Cup. A barrier with diagonal stripes of alternating colors invited him to go around the block, cross the river on the iron bridge, and proceed for a kilometer to the next bridge. The situation was a royal rip-off, considering that the wine, stolen that morning from a market stall, had officially become his after three hundred meters of running and a minute of fear, and now it was unworthily heating up under the passenger seat of his Panda 30.

The grates sounded noisily under the car's wheels, and soon he found himself in the part of the city destined for the rich. There were villas with gardens, apartment buildings with doormen, and many dark sedans parked in the driveways. Well-maintained beech trees alternated with stone and wrought iron benches, while on the part of the road facing the river, menacing parking meters demanded hefty tributes for just a few minutes of parking. The public gardens, larger than he would have conceived for a landing strip, teemed with joggers, sunbathers with their faces offered to the late afternoon sun, and children, some intent on chasing a ball, others busy flying a drone that was surely worth more than his car.

He had never seen that house before. It must have existed for many years, certainly before the two wars and perhaps even before steam trains began puffing along railways across the country. If he had never seen it, perhaps it was because of the tree canopies that had kept it hidden all that time. A recent pruning of the foliage, something that had happened following a mysterious parasite that had attacked the trees in that area, had revealed the existence of that building.

Painted in a freshly retouched salmon color, it stood out behind a thick hedge with its two floors that followed the first. It had a long balcony, secured with railings of metal rods painted in cast-iron color, which occupied half of its facade, and a series of doors and windows that faced it, all closed behind old-fashioned gray-green shutters. Oxidized copper downpipes descended along the three visible corners, and on the roof, an old TV antenna rose beyond the cover of the house behind, quite distant but evidently harmful to good reception. On the northern side, a tongue of ivy was worn with class, as a lady of good society might flaunt a soft silk shawl.

Situated as it was on the slopes of the hill, it could only be reached via a narrow and impervious road, steep enough to discourage the passage of people other than the few residents and convenient for shaking off cops who might want to chase a thief. The hill, which represented the uncontaminated and happy island that occasionally cast a disdainful glance at the layer of smog adorning the city, was only accessible through mostly uncomfortable roads, which sometimes connected to busy arteries while, in many other cases, ended in a dead end on one side and originated from a slightly wider road that was equally difficult to navigate by car. It was vacation season, and the closed shutters showed that the homeowners had gone elsewhere seeking relief.

An invitation. Slowing down slightly, Fausto determined that the area must be poorly lit. Indeed, he saw a first streetlight a few dozen meters downhill and then another, supported by a pole held hostage by climbing plants that emerged from behind the wall of a large estate.

He would turn them off. Judging by the retro taste of the finishes, the house must be inhabited by elderly people, little accustomed to installing alarm systems and still attached to those values of honesty and rectitude, those values that no longer existed.

He would enter. Behind that stone wall, two and a half meters high or perhaps more, was the thieves' paradise, a prize vacation with a low-cost flight and business class return. There was silverware kept in drawers and money, lots of money, placed inside some vase or at most on the back of a sideboard.

Behind that heavy wooden door was the salary of two years, with the thirteenth month, paid holidays, and all the overtime. France and Portugal would meet that very evening. It was obvious that the hosts would win, and equally logical that he, the following day, would pull off the best theft of his career.

Fausto waited for twilight, loitering from one bar to another. It was good to stay away from his studio apartment with bathroom. Despite being on the basement floor of a shamefully ugly building, the landlord always remembered him, the rent he owed, and the reimbursement of condominium expenses. Once the loot was pocketed, no one would see those parts for a month. That day he should have paid, but since the last pickpocketing had yielded a couple of twenty-euro bills and a series of coins insufficient to pay for an aperitif, he had made himself untraceable since the morning.

From time to time, he turned toward the hill and ascertained that the house had remained closed, uninhabited. The only two street lamps surrounding it were damaged. At the beginning of the afternoon, during his reconnaissance tour, he had passed under the lamps and placed a lead weight right in the center, shooting it with his ultra-silent compressed gas gun. There was a sound similar to the hiss of a snake, and then some fragments of plastic rained to the ground. When they would notice the damage, late in the evening, they would make a note to call the municipality's maintenance team the next morning. What mattered was that at night, the darkness would be real, intense as an ink stain and impenetrable to the fallacious eyes of a man.

Meanwhile, it was getting dark. The city was closing its shutters, the last stragglers were leaving the office, and the incurable drinkers were looking for some open pub. The hunt for parking had begun, and families were about to gather around the table. All televisions were tuned to the news: a single concert of news and scoops vomited all together from open windows. Beyond the river, an odor of algae rose towards the park. Paying attention, one could hear the sound of water even from a distance.

On the hill, assisted by the premature darkness caused by abundant trees, the street lamps of public lighting had turned on. Two of them had remained unlit.

He landed on the soft grass. He did so beyond the wall he had easily climbed over with the rope ladder. He had brought it in his backpack along with a headlamp for running, a small crowbar, and a tiny pen-sized LED flashlight. All the rest of the space, including the side pockets and the one on the closure, was destined for the loot.

The faint LED light framed an unlit garden lamp, a cement sidewalk that went around the entire building, and flowerbeds accompanied by a collection of statuettes that reproduced the characters of Tolkien. A hobbit with hairy feet was eyeing him from behind a clump of daisies, while the reproduction of an elf, on a 1:25 scale, seemed ready to fire an arrow right in his direction. The mean face made it believable.

The city projected a halo of luminescence on the horizon, and the windows of the house opposite let through a timid and distant light, which barely filtered through the foliage. Apart from the chirping of crickets and the homeopathic trace of traffic noise from the streets, they were close to absolute silence.

He had arrived on the spot under the cover of darkness. No one had noticed him, apart from a late cyclist who was struggling up the hill to meet his dinner. He had passed with his head bent over the handlebars and a shortness of breath that had surely drained the blood from his brain. Fausto could swear he hadn't even noticed him.

The line of hedges that ran through the garden, dividing it into two exact parts, lent itself to covering his advance. He thanked his good fortune, and after a few steps, he found himself in front of the access door, large enough to let a car enter. It was closed with a padlock, which he opened with a simple hairpin. It took him less time than allowed to a Rischiatutto contestant to answer half a dozen very difficult questions.

Once inside the garage, he put on the headlamp, not at all surprised that no alarm had gone off. It was a room with a vaulted ceiling studded with salt efflorescence, bare brick walls, and a floor covered with rather worn stoneware. In the center of the environment, next to a series of shelves covered with dark cloths, a cherry-red Lancia Flavia demonstrated his thesis: house of nostalgic elderly people, at the thermal baths to treat their rheumatism or at the sea looking after a swarm of irreverent grandchildren.

He was truly sorry. That car, a 1966 model with 102 horses sleeping under the hood, was kept so well that it would have appealed to many collectors. He wondered how much they would pay him for the tip.

He bypassed the obstacle. A flash, sudden and unexpected, blinded him for an instant. Instinctively, he jumped backward and bumped against the hard frame of the shelves. His hand went to his belt in search of the compressed gas gun. He pointed it in front of him, without a precise target. He found shelter in a niche in the wall, assumed a profile position to not be an easy target, and waited, with his heart bouncing between his throat and chest. If it was necessary to shoot, he would. No one would die because of those small lead pellets, but the deterrent effect would work enough to cover his escape. The rope ladder had been positioned on the wall for any eventuality, and his Panda was waiting anonymously in a nearby parking lot, with a fake license plate borrowed from an old 127.

When he realized that the flash had only been a reflection of light on the Flavia's chrome, he let out a stifled laugh. No matter how accustomed one becomes to being a thief, no matter how much one refines the techniques and acquires cold blood, the possibility that something might go wrong always remains triggered, like a war residue buried under the sand.

He pointed the spotlight in the direction of the car. That double triad of headlights on the nose, together with the grille that looked like a grinning open mouth, scared him, recalling infernal machines that wandered around Castle Rock to exterminate the enemies of its owner.

He counted to ten. The seconds, although dragged towards the end of the count, were not enough to regain his lost calm. He counted to ten again. This time he did it thinking about the firm breasts of the blonde airhead who had kept him company during the European final, while Aurelio and Luisa followed the raids on the field. There had been a promising opportunity that evening, but he had not been able to take advantage of it. In his head, a thousand thoughts had chased each other, connected to bills to pay, rents to honor, and hillside villas to raid. Since he had noticed that house, passing through the obligatory route dictated by the detour, he had been as if kidnapped by the thought of entering it, of penetrating it. Who knows what the blonde with the firm breasts had thought of that excitement he had displayed. It was of a sexual nature, but not towards her. It was directed at a pile of bricks and stones.

On the wall toward the interior, a door opened. He framed it with the beam of light and saw that it was barely ajar. It must lead to the stairs. He pushed. The hinges had been recently lubricated, and the door slid until it stopped against the wall next to it. A staircase with stone steps started about ten meters beyond and then turned, disappearing into a narrow passage. Before tackling the corridor, he looked over his shoulder again: the car was motionless. He scrutinized it, lingering on the details: the tires like new, the bumper polished with care, and not even a grain of dust on the bodywork. The windshield gleamed with a shade of blue. He didn't know how, but the moment he had turned his back, he had felt the sensation of being watched.

He felt like an idiot. The last apartment robbery had yielded him a brand-new computer, the number 666 of the limited production of the Gibson Les Paul 295 Florentine W/Bigsby, and five nice hundred-euro bills, which that jerk of an owner had left in plain sight in the center of a small plate in the living room. The whole job had lasted less than five minutes, had happened in the middle of the night, and he had felt no anxiety.

And yet now he was feeling it. After the first two meters of corridor, he encountered a door on the left. The brief inspection brought to light a shelf of rich wines. They were all very expensive champagnes: Louis Roederer Cristal, Broël & Kroff, Bollinger Vielle Vignes, and Krug Clos d'Ambonnay. This last bottle, he estimated, if his memory wasn't deceiving him, could cost up to 3000 euros.

He would endure the sweet weight in his backpack, oh yes! He would even make two trips, if necessary.

The second cellar was populated with gardening tools, including a backpack brush cutter and a combustion mower, with a nice 10-horsepower head barely disguised behind a black mask adorned with the emblem of a bull ready to charge. The blades were still stained with chlorophyll and earth. That smell of fuel mixture and grease, which reached the nose strong as a cannonball, reminded him of his father, who had tried in vain to make him passionate about work. He wasn't interested in working, sweating, and getting his hands dirty with earth. His old man could have told him all the fairy tales in the world about dignity, honesty, and rectitude, but he was interested in getting to work once every few months, opening the right villa, the perfect shop, or the wallet with some rich pension inside.

The right villa was there, under his feet, on his head, and all around him. Walls, cement, wood, bricks, and metal. Water flowing like blood in the pipes and energy flowing through the electrical cables. Bolts, ties, and earth crushed under the weight of years. If the morning showed the day, he had seen the sun rise on a collection of wines that, alone, was worth a year of a worker's labor.

Upstairs, in the house, he had not yet entered. He would find all sorts of treasures, money, jewelry, and quoted art pieces. Perhaps within the walls of that apartment was preserved a stamp collection or some very rare and precious book, kept on a shelf without particular precautions.

The third door enclosed a large boiler, drowsy under its diver's suit. Like the car, it was old, or rather vintage, but the sensation of power it transmitted was priceless. It probably consumed more diesel than a container ship, but evidently, the rich and affluent homeowners didn't care at all. As with all things present in that place, there must have been a particular affection, an attachment to the object, to its history. It had the burner installed at its base like the engine of a missile. It would unleash hell next autumn. He was sure of it.

He passed by and, after inspecting the ascent of the stairs, put his foot on the first step.

He had noticed the flicker of the TV turned on, and this had not made him desist from climbing the stairs and entering. One of the many banal and totally useless precautions to discourage thieves was precisely that of leaving a light or the television on. In his case, it had reassured him and confirmed that the owners were truly away from home.

An old black and white film projected its essential brightness on the Persian carpet, unrolled in front of a pair of armchairs covered with sheets. At that moment, Spencer Tracy, an old desperate fisherman, was fighting against the sea and against the shark that was biting his prey, little by little: "If the boy were here, he would wet the ropes. Yes, if the boy were here, if the boy were here..."

The headlamp broke the electric penumbra of the screen and made a horizon tour like a lighthouse. What he saw pleased him. On the wall opposite were interesting paintings, something that had to do with the landscapes of Lo Iacono, at least as far as could be understood from the fleeting aureole of light that had summarily examined them. A shelf wedged between one window and another housed a collection of cups and medals, many of which had the air of being solid gold. There was also a cat in black ebony, carved and entirely handmade. The homeowners had reserved an entire compartment for it. The door that interrupted the wall at the back opened onto a bedroom that gave the impression of being the depository of many secrets. On the opposite side, there was access to a hallway with a bookcase, a telephone cabinet, and a silver picture frame that made no effort to remain hidden. The worthless still life that could be glimpsed in the background had very much the air of concealing a wall safe, one of those that could be wrenched off with a crowbar and carried home under the arm.

Fausto rubbed his hands and decided that, first of all, he would turn on the lights. It was completely useless to wander around that house with the risk of tripping over some carpet, when all the windows were closed with heavy shutters, and the old chandeliers, with all dusty coiled lightbulbs, could only project a weak light barely sufficient to move around.

He put his hand on the switch and turned it on. A crown of gray hair appeared, surrounding a large bald head resting on the backrest of the farthest armchair. On the skull, the skin had corrugated into many small waves. It must have been there for some time because a yellowish halo had formed on the sheet covering the resting place.

Fausto, as before in the garage, suddenly backed up and bumped against the dish rack behind him. A service decorated with floral motifs gave rise to a concert, and he instinctively brought his hands to his ears. Like a bird that had ended up in a room by mistake, he tried, agitating, to reconstruct the geography of the place and find the escape route. When he succeeded, a closed door prevented him from continuing. He found himself with the palms of his hands pressed against the wood and the anxiety that drained energy from reason.

Once again, he gripped the compressed gas gun. Once again, his cardiac muscle contracted fearfully. If it had burst, he wouldn't have been surprised. At that moment, the thing that bothered him most was not so much the rather concrete hypothesis of ending up in jail, but the embarrassment he would make in recounting the circumstances of his arrest.

At the height of the mockery, Mr. Wolf's big face materialized on the screen, in color this time: "Well, it's not yet time to give each other blowjobs!"

He looked back and pushed with all his strength. The door barely creaked, and his feet slipped on the parquet. He was trapped.

He decided he would scare the homeowner by pointing his pseudo-gun at him. He would fall for it hook, line, and sinker. He would yell in his face, spitting in all directions and letting his skin turn a reddish-purple, or rather no, he would wear the stocking that he had prudently put in his pocket, he would vomit assorted threats at him, and he would descend from the balcony while the old man worried about cleaning the shit from his pants. He would leave that place so quickly that witnesses, if there ever were any, would tell of a hare free in the fields.

Looking behind him again, he put the tights on, unrolling them over his head like a condom. Suddenly, the yellowish light of the room took on a brownish tone. He observed the head resting on the backrest. It was still in its place. It reminded him of his old man at home when he was still alive. Every evening of every day, he would collapse in a trance on the couch in front of the television turned on. He would do it if he had worked, if he had been on vacation, or if he had claimed sick leave. He would do it on official holidays and all the blessed Sundays after the game listened to on the radio, after a walk downtown, or wearing his workshop overalls. His old man had been destroyed by a life he had accepted with too much resignation.

Perhaps the owner had also fallen asleep in front of the television and wouldn't even notice him. The door that had barred his escape must have closed due to a draft or something similar. The justification didn't please him, but he had to give himself one.

He gripped the weapon, pointing the barrel downward. The trick was meant to confuse ideas, to suggest that the muzzle had a credible diameter for something that could kill, not for a toy like his.

The TV returned to black and white. It was evident that the man was awake and was exercising his sacred right to channel-surf. How he hadn't noticed the noise made by the plates remained a mystery.

Fonzie, Arthur Fonzarelli, was warning a thief caught in the Cunningham house, a vile apartment rat like him: "If you do the job with the tool, you'll get a year instead of a month!"

It wasn't possible. Fausto convinced himself that he was delirious, that fear was playing nasty tricks on him. It was just his suggestion, the result of a moment of discouragement and the sum of some unknown factor, a kind of worm that had known how to dig into his unconscious. Contradicting the explanation he had just given himself, he convinced himself instead that he had seen correctly, that the house was inhabited, and that he had taken a blatant misconception. He thought that perhaps he should have studied the heist with more care, added a survey the next day, evaluated every possible eventuality. He regretted not having done the classic phone call test, not having tried to hit the windows with a stone to see if anyone would have rushed to check who it had been.

As if that method had scientific value, he began counting to ten again. From one to seven, the numbers were swallowed like indigestible pills; the last digits of the count, on the contrary, came out proud and well articulated: seven, eight, nine... ten.

At ten, he leaped into the room. The man's head still protruded from the top of the backrest.

He literally collapsed into the remaining free armchair, and a cloud of dust and mites rose from the sheet. He felt the springs of the cushion creak and his feet sink into the high pile of the carpet. He could do nothing, shout, flee, or shoot. The last of the options was the least practicable because the man in front of him was already dead. Fausto quickly got used to that image, just the last of the horror show he had witnessed.

The bald man was breathing with difficulty. He rhythmically raised his chest, up and down, and in doing so, blood came out of a hole in the center of his chest. The spurts overcame the hand he kept on his abdomen and went to form a muddy little lake in the hollow between his joined legs. When he had the courage to look him in the eyes, to raise his eyes to meet those sunken orbits, he recognized the same look of hatred and desperation he had received five years before, when that man had died before his eyes with a gunshot to the heart. Clutching the armrests, Fausto tried to say something in his defense.

"It wasn't me who shot, you should know that..." The man moved slightly, using one arm to lift himself. The pool of blood was lost in the crevice that had formed between his thighs. The splashes from the chest, meanwhile, continued to come out like from a broken pipe. "I just saw a flash and then I felt a strong pain, here." The finger went into the hole, stopping the hemorrhage. "Who cares who shot! You and your ugly face were there, in front of me. You picked up the briefcase I tried to defend, you tore it from my hands, you ran away making sure that your flat ass was the last thing I saw before dying..."

"It was Rocco who shot!" And naming Rocco, he remembered that bloodied syringe inserted in the center of a bruise on his arm. It had been his death sentence, a sentence cut with some exaggerated bad stuff for his already drug-filled veins. With the money taken from the briefcase, he had rushed in search of his pusher and, to his misfortune, had found him that very evening.

He hadn't even realized he had killed a man. It had all happened so quickly that the stolen money had been spent even before that poor man's corpse could cool.

Fausto closed his eyes tightly. He knew it wouldn't help end the nightmare he was living. He had tried to scream, to agitate like someone with tarantism, to inflict suffering on himself. Nothing, it had served nothing. The man in the armchair was always there, in his place, and he had been able to do nothing but sit in front.

"I apologize. That robbery was not supposed to end like this. Rocco was nervous, agitated. He was sweating, suffering like a dog, and couldn't wait any longer. The withdrawal crisis, you understand, the crisis was destroying him. Do you understand what a withdrawal crisis from heroin means?"

The man shook his head.

"It's a terrible thing, you stop reasoning, you experience pains so strong that you would want to die..." "And indeed, I died..."

Fausto was silent. That robbery five years earlier, when Rocco had pressed the trigger with the ease used in video games, had been archived without culprits, or at least without any living man being able to pay for his crime. The carabinieri had found so many traces at the scene that led to Rocco that they hadn't even bothered to look for his, which were also abundant at the crime scene. They had found the culprit already dead with the stolen briefcase abandoned at his side. They had satisfied the press, the relatives, and saved the money for the trial, all in one fell swoop.

Coughing, the man in the armchair spat a mixture of blood and drool on the carpet. When he did, the stream of blood from his heart reached almost to Fausto's shoes, who instinctively withdrew. Maintaining a minimum of lucidity, he saw that a gold watch was resting on the television cabinet. Only the homeowner didn't want to leave, didn't want to disappear from his nightmare. From time to time, he tried to lift his wounded body by pushing on the armrests, but he only obtained a creaking of the armchair that seemed to deform under the weight.

The cold that Fausto felt in his legs, along with a taste of rotten teeth in his mouth, made everything absolutely real. He listened to his heart beating in his ears and a tremor in his back that felt like the shock of an electric chair.

The dead man was stirring the saliva in his mouth. Lucio realized too late that he was about to spit at him and didn't have time to dodge. He shouted. "I couldn't prevent Rocco from shooting, I couldn't read his mind, I..."

On television, there was Tony Montana. Against the background of a fiery sunset pasted on the wall like wallpaper, he had just placed a bullet in the stomach of Mel Bernstein, a corrupt cop: "Son of a bitch..." "Goodbye Mel, have a good trip!" BANG!

That's how it had happened five years before: BANG! And the man with the bag full of cash had collapsed to the ground, with his mouth wide open in a scream stuck in his throat. Fausto remembered that sound of broken bones at the moment when his vertebrae hit the edge of the sidewalk.

He wasn't channel-surfing. The television was enjoying proposing its very personal interpretation of the moment. Suddenly, the channel shifted to the chronicle of an open-heart surgical intervention, where dozens of tubes and metal forceps were inserted into a bloody chest, and this made Fausto's stomach contract in an effort to vomit.

The emergency door of ER opened to let the stretcher pass. Around a body without signs of life, two nurses alternated, one of whom was holding up the IV with his right hand. Dr. Carter rushed over, placing the medical chart he had in his hand on the reception counter. "What do we have?" "Gunshot wound with hemothorax and involvement of T4"

Lucio gave in to a nervous tic. He was going crazy. He tried to escape, to escape from that torture while the dead man was making fun of him, laughing in his face. After a while, the laughter began to resound in the room and make the Bohemian crystal housed in a locked display case tremble.

He put his hands to his ears to not hear and suddenly stood up. He seemed like the pilot of a fighter plane in trouble who had ejected with the entire seat. He ran towards the door that had prevented him from passing earlier and broke it down with a shoulder charge. He traversed the corridor that went towards the stairs with the speed of a train. He passed by the doors and felt them opening. From the rooms came all the skeletons that in his life he had locked in closets.

The lady from the grocery store in that small town, whom he had robbed by making her taste the sharp blade of his knife, emerged from the master bedroom. She was so elderly that she would have died of old age, she and that ridiculous blue apron that made her look like the clerk of a hardware store. She would have died in her bed, boring children and grandchildren with the stories of her life, he had told himself ten years before. Instead, the lady, fifty years spent behind that counter, the first of which was spent compiling the sums of grocery expenses on the back of bread paper, had gone home with a lump in her throat, a humiliation so great that she hadn't had the courage to tell her son and a pain in her chest that had manifested as if a dog had bitten her heart.

She had died that very night, from the distress. From the bathroom emerged a couple of mugged women. The first had felt her femur crumble when she had fallen in the street right in front of a braking car, the second had chased her pension for ten meters believing she had traveled a thousand. They had both died, one after a painful and never satisfactory recovery from the joint reconstruction operation, the other from pneumonia because, along with that pension, the money for heating had also gone away.

They ran like gazelles, after death. Fausto felt them coming from behind, along with a hot wind that set his back on fire. Screams, insults, and hasty steps that echoed in the corridor. A herd of frenzied horses. If he hadn't had the courage to turn around to see those ghosts, he would have thought of a herd of horses frightened by an explosion, ready to overwhelm everything and everyone.

He gripped his stupid compressed gas gun and laughed. No weapon had ever stopped nightmares, ghosts, and all the damned manifestations of the afterlife. He had read enough Dylan Dog comics to get an idea about certain topics, but he gripped it anyway, under a strong and sweaty grip. He wouldn't have been surprised at all if by mistake a shot had gone off, straight into his testicles.

He tripped over a vase. The succulent plant fell and inflicted a torture of thorns in his shin. He cursed, without at all repenting of being heard by people who might even have a direct relationship with the Lord.

"When a man with a gun meets a man with a rifle, the man with a gun is a dead man" The television volume was so high that it could be heard in all the rooms.

In pain, Fausto turned toward the living room and saw the corridor clear. He thought that the rancorous old women hadn't even bothered to follow him there. Gritting his teeth, he pulled out the first of the twenty thorns that had reduced his flesh to a pincushion, and a blood stain began to spread quickly on his pants.

The television seemed to have turned off. No noise, no echo from the room he had abandoned by breaking down the door. The second thorn came out with a lament. He let himself go on the carpet of the floor and had a novel view of the coffered wooden ceiling.

Lying down, with burning eyes, he cried. He evaluated all the mistakes of his existence, the arrogance, the total hostility to his father's advice, a good man, a solid man. He prayed as he knew how for those people who had suffered and died because of him.

He saw them alive again, in those moments when fear had erased their dignity, in which desperation had moved their last steps, in which a bullet had opened the heart. He sensed their smell, the implorings, the humiliation that had penetrated their defenseless souls. The vibrations of the prayer calmed him at first, then diffused in him a sense of tiredness and sleep. He slipped into unconsciousness in the company of the image of a tall, thin man armed with a large rifle. He had materialized it in his thoughts so well that he thought it had been fixed on his retina.

"When a man with a gun meets a man with a rifle, the man with a gun is a dead man." It wasn't the TV, it was a ghost armed to the teeth, and it had a rifle. Only that he couldn't count on a pistol but on a pathetic farting simulacrum. He wielded that weapon with one hand, reviving a thousand clichés of merciless bounty killers from western films, ruthless bandits, and infallible buffalo hunters.

The specter had put in his mouth that phrase of Clint Eastwood, one of those that anyone remembers by heart, a bit like that bullshit of Forrest Gump and the box of chocolates. The Winchester 1873 carbine that he was holding under his armpit had all the appearance of having just been lubricated, and he was on the ground lying down, more or less with the dignity of a worm.

He didn't recognize him immediately. When he saw that blue spot that encircled his neck, he understood. He also gave himself an explanation of why that man was supporting his head with his free hand. He did so because his neck was broken, because, eight years before, he had hanged himself after he, a petty thief, had taken his new car from under his nose.

That Golf had cost him all his savings, the furious wrath of his wife, and the long faces of his three children, left without money to go on vacation. He had laughed seeing that pathetic man, with a garish tie around his neck that matched his jacket like a yellow spit on the sidewalk. He framed him in the rearview mirror, increasingly distant, increasingly small, with that tie bobbing right and left. FLAP FLAP

He had laughed seeing him desperately give up the chase, bent over his knees with the vomiting efforts that, amidst the curiosity of passersby, he could no longer hold back. Two days later, his suicide had been reported in a small article in the local news:

Forty-nine-year-old civil servant took his life by hanging himself with his tie from a beam in the garage, an annex to his small house in the southern outskirts. His children found him at dawn. They had gone to look for him in the garage when they noticed that he had not taken with him the fake leather clutch bag that he never failed to bring to the office. The hypothesis is that the man had fallen into depression due to the theft of his new car.

The carabinieri have opened an investigation, and the prosecutor has ordered an autopsy.

The newspaper article made no mention of that hunting rifle, which was surely among the memories of the deceased. Perhaps it had been the last object seen before dying, when he was preparing to secure the tie to the steel beam that crossed the room from one side to the other. Maybe he had thought of ending it all with it, but perhaps, at the idea of leaving relatives a mess of blood and brain to clean up, he had opted for that horrible tie.

He tried to say something but had to desist. Distracted, he let go of the hand that was supporting the head, and it bent to the side, resting on the shoulder. The neck, swollen and purplish, had stretched so much that the ear had surpassed the deltoid. Lucio saw the arm with the carbine going in search of the hair and pulling to straighten the head. When the dead man succeeded, he remained in that position, with the barrel serving as a hat.

"Come on, now run away..." Fausto didn't immediately understand, shaking his head looking from bottom to top. "Now run, shake me off, like you did that time you stole my car. Come on, what are you waiting for? Burn rubber!"

There were at most five meters to the end of the corridor, then the door and beyond the stairs descending to the floor below. Just as they had dematerialized, the two old ladies who had organized an avalanche in the corridor and the man with the hole in his chest sitting in the armchair, the subject with the rifle, the nostalgic of the old west, would have vanished too. At that point, it would all be over; he would take his things to change the air. To hell with the villa theft, the silverware, and the masterpiece paintings. He would never be a thief again, neither the pickpocket nor the robber.

He stood up, and the man loaded the Winchester. In doing so, he had to use both hands, and the broken neck, left without support, collapsed onto his chest, going to kiss the sternum.

Confusion, disorder. The apparition agitated, beginning to rotate on itself, hitting the walls with the rifle barrel. On the first turn, it knocked down a painting; on the second, it hooked the drawer of the curtain hanging from the ceiling; on the third, it began shooting wildly. A sector of the coffered ceiling disintegrated, the glass door of the study exploded with a roar, and a bullet entered the spine of a book with a dull thud, transforming "Elective Affinities" into "Elec ve Affinities." A bullet, real, tangible, and deadly, grazed Fausto's ear and lodged in the wall covered with an anachronistic velvet wallpaper.

He ran down the stairs, and the specter tried to follow him. He looked like a turkey at the local market, hung at the counter by its legs with its head banging from one side to the other. He hit the doorpost and dissolved with a kind of grunt.

Of him remained only the acrid smoke of the shots and a violent tinnitus like a ship's siren. Soldier Hudson, just landed on LW 426, whimperingly pronounced his line. Although the television was now far away, his words were perfectly distinguished: "You're on the express elevator to hell... going down!"

The staircase descended through the belly of the house in a spiral. After a first flight followed some fan-shaped steps, which curved without a landing. At the bottom of the last stretch began the corridor that led to the garage.

Fausto didn't even realize he was sweating, seized by nervous contractions of the stomach and slightly wounded by the rifle bullet that had grazed his earlobe. He interrupted the rest he had granted himself on the steps and went toward an uncertain luminosity, which projected orange blades on the floor.

The boiler, the post-war residue he had noticed going up, had turned on by itself. From the small window facing the furnace, flames were rumbling, along with the burner motor that was spinning like an unvalved diesel. A smell of hot cast iron was climbing all the way up. He stopped in front of the door, hypnotized by the fire that emanated outside the nozzles. He wouldn't have been surprised if he had seen a muscular stoker who, blackened by soot, was pouring generous shovels of coal through the manhole. It would have seemed normal to him to also see an undertaker pushing spartan coffins into the heart of the flames. With a little patience, he would have also endured a tongue of fire coming out of the door and chasing him throughout the ground floor.

None of this happened. He passed undisturbed and saw the industrious mechanism working under a console of colored lights that turned on and off. The tangle of counters, pumps, and rusty, sweaty pipes that twisted above and all around seemed to him something similar to the intestine of a prehistoric monster.

He left it all behind. The cellar with the gardening tools was silent and dark. The spades, hoes, and especially the mower, lay cold along with a collection of fertilizers and weed killers arranged on boards fixed to the wall. On the ground, the watering hose was rolled up on itself for half a meter in height, and boots and heavy shoes presented themselves like a formation of good soldiers, without even a bit of hardened mud having detached from the soles.

It was over. The nightmares had abandoned him, and along with them had gone the guilt feelings. He would leave that house without anything that wasn't his, and from that moment, he would begin to behave like a decent person.

He saw the red Lancia sleeping in the comfortable belly of the garage and the door, which he himself had forced to enter, still ajar. Waiting for him outside was the rope ladder to climb over the stone wall and a bit further down his old car rendered anonymous by a false license plate.

Dragging his feet on the ground, he passed in front of the cellar. He couldn't help it; he had to enter. He turned on the light and filled his eyes with that wonder.

They were lined up like cannon shots ready to be fired. Those bottles of champagne, which had already delighted him on the way in, seemed to be waiting for him. Louis Roederer Cristal, Broël & Kroff, Bollinger Vielle Vignes, and Krug Clos d'Ambonnay, stuff to convert the most upright teetotaler to alcoholism.

The Kroff, Bollinger Vielle Vignes, elegant as a lady in black, seemed to be inviting him to approach, to open it. The bottle, lying on the furniture with the neck positioned in the wooden hollow, shone with the golden finishes of its label and provoked. Sinuous and just pearled with a few drops of moisture, it looked like a high-class woman in skimpy clothes, black and straight hair, a very expensive necklace, and so, so much energy to explode.

It exploded. The cork flew with enough force to make itself felt clearly in his testicles. The jet of wine was expelled with the violence of a broadside and hit him full in the face, taking his breath away. A champagne worth thousands of euros was literally suffocating him.

He tried to oppose with his hands and, when he finally succeeded, the Louis Roederer Cristal, Broël fired its cork, hitting him in the eye. He saw a flash and felt a stream of wine literally slapping him. Moving away, he bumped into a shelf full of reds, from Tuscany, from the Langhe, and also an Aglianico del Vulture special reserve, which fell and shattered on his skull.

Don't mix whites with reds, still with sparkling! He couldn't remember who had told him that. The certain thing was that his blood, copious from the wound on his scalp, had blended very well with the intense ruby red of the 2007 vintage.

At the second attempt to escape the bombardment, the remaining champagne corks struck promptly. One of the two went into his mouth. He gasped. With two fingers, he tried to retrieve it but only succeeded in pushing it even further down. It tasted of aged cork and tin foil. Agitating, covered with his blood and the Aglianico that had also filled his underwear, he tried to cough and managed to move the cork a little, which finally offered itself to the grip of his fingers smeared with saliva. When he managed to remove it, he was attacked by vomit and let himself go, violently splashing against the wall, while the last drops of fine wines were lost in the puddle that had formed on the ground.

He collapsed on his knees, stunned by a carnival of smells, and fainted.

"This is what happens when being apartment rats, robbers, and car thieves. You should know that, Fausto. People attribute a special value to their things, charge them with energy. Let's not talk about money, because for that, they would kill..." "I didn't kill anyone!"

His father, who was cleaning him with a small white rag, was young, roughly the age he might have been when he was a teenager. Even then, he enjoyed stealing his classmates' pencil cases and selling them in the poor section.

He closed his eyes and waited for that vision to disappear too. When he reopened them, his father had replaced the rag with a new one and had aged twenty years. Listening carefully, one could perceive that slight rattle in the lungs that would later kill him. In the pocket of his shirt, the usual one with slightly yellowed armpits and that third button that mom always forgot to replace, the half-empty pack of unfiltered Nationals. He too had had his vices, after all.

"Ok, Dad, but now spare me the lecture; this has been a shitty evening!"

He got up with difficulty. In doing so, he saw the figure of his parent gradually become transparent until it disappeared behind the hint of a bitter smile. The still-closed bottle of Krug Clos d'Ambonnay was pointing threateningly at his forehead. He moved toward the corridor.

"They're coming out of the walls. They're coming out of the goddamn walls!"

Still him, Hudson. The space marine from Aliens: The Final Showdown was still crying on himself and was acting as a harbinger of doom, as usual. Lucio rushed into the corridor and saw that Hudson was right. A thousand arms came out of the walls, young and hairless, hairy, wrinkled, of men and women. He tried to pass through them, but they stripped him of everything.

First, the clothes went to shreds, and then a gold chain he wore around his neck was ripped off. His wallet, his documents, and the car keys had been taken first.

By the fifth meter of the journey, he was naked as a worm. He saw a piece of his pants disappear between the bricks and his underwear get stuck between the plaster and the wall. By now, his brain was in water, and he didn't know how the sensations he was experiencing could be so realistic. He felt the cold, the granular floor cutting his bare feet, and the arms scratching him on his back.

He ran to the garage. He would leave from there without clothes. He didn't care at all if he was on foot; they would mistake him for one of the many madmen left around to fill the voids of the night.

He crossed the door and discovered that the Lancia Flavia was no longer there. He heard the soft hum of its engine outside, somewhere in the courtyard.

Covering his intimacy, he headed trembling toward the outside. Not knowing which god to turn to for forgiveness, he blasphemed. He did it to not make mistakes and recited the entire calendar of saints, the Trinity, and the Virgin Mary.

It was there that the elf archer loosed the arrow, hitting him squarely. The burning spread like a gasoline fire, and a milky veil fell before his eyes. Bending down, he saw his belly pierced like a pincushion and collapsed on his knees in the grass.

When the car, skidding and lifting the clods of the garden, ran him over in a flash of headlights, he felt a concert of broken bones, a sound of meat fallen from the balcony, and the lapping of blood splashing everywhere. The last sensations he felt before dying were the smell of hot, dirty iron, exactly like that of the old boiler, and the red-hot muffler of the Lancia Fulvia, sharp as a knife, tearing his back.

The following morning, a few minutes after dawn, the cyclist from the evening before passed for a new exciting itinerary. It would take him to climb a couple of Alpine hills and stop only to eat the sandwiches he had placed in the back pockets of his shirt and which he would wash down with his two water bottles positioned on the frame like the professionals. The sunglasses, bandana, and polystyrene helmet were hanging on the handlebars, ready to be worn as soon as the sun and the mad cars in the center would demand their tribute.

Passing by the stone wall, he saw a rope ladder hanging, of the kind used for rescues or mountaineering. Curious, he carefully leaned his bicycle against the road's edge and tried to climb a couple of rungs to see what was on the other side.

Under the first rays of the sun, grazing the hill and just warm enough to cheer the day, he saw the corpse of a man. He was naked, wet, and covered with serious wounds and stale blood. He must have died recently because the residual heat was making the dew evaporate on the skin and something foamy that he couldn't understand. Surrounded by tall grass, nettles, and large bramble bushes that seemed to be guarding him, he was lying in the very center of that meadow, and the relief of old walls, collapsed many years ago and covered with weeds, barely shaded his bare feet.

A drug addict, he thought, or a homeless person. Someone who had drunk so much that he believed he had entered his own house, or who knows, a tavern to mortgage yet more of his pathetic existence.

He wasn't the first to go and die in that square of bare earth, and he wondered what ever attracted those scraps of humanity to that place.

Annoyed, he returned to the road, mounted his bicycle, and ventured toward the city. As soon as the descent allowed him to release one of the two brakes, and taking advantage of a first red light, he took his cell phone, dialed the police number, and waited.

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mercoledì 26 febbraio 2025

The Pit of Retribution



Killing is a serious matter, and K42 knows it well. He's been calling himself that since he quit bank robberies to become a full-time hitman. K stands for killer.

The house sits at the end of a narrow road, paved at first before transforming into a floor of stones, potholes, and depressions. Hostile to low-chassis cars and deadly for fragile ankles. The woods shield that '70s villa from prying eyes, far enough from the provincial road to be noticed only when winter strips the trees and the low sun makes the veranda windows glitter.
He arrives by bicycle, dismounts, hides it at the bottom of the embankment, and continues on foot. The backpack weighs enough but contains nothing superfluous. The gun will stop the heart of Mario Eliani, a retired aviator who spent his life scanning the sky hoping to spot a UFO. That's what his wife had told him, and when they arranged the hit through that protected chat, she had mentioned all the flight attendants who had knelt at her husband's crotch while she spent her time raising their son straight and healthy. The last affair, with the big-breasted woman who sells fruit at the market, was the final straw.
The gate at the garden entrance is the work of an improvised blacksmith. Construction bars welded together by an imprecise hand and painted in alternating Napoli-blue and white, with the upper crossbar bearing an inscription in digit-font characters, the kind derived from the luminous diodes of old calculators. It reads: ELIANI COUPLE and celebrates the grotesque end awaiting that family, soon to be extinguished by a cynical calculation.
K42 can't hold back a bitter smile. He bends over his backpack, pulls latex gloves from the outer pocket and puts them on, then slips on the wool balaclava, pulling it down to his neck.
The client had been blunt:
"He mustn't see your face. Until the end, he'll believe it was a thief who killed him, not his poor cheated wife. They'll only reveal that detail to him in hell."
With a five-thousand-euro advance, every wish is his command.
The key is the right one.
It turns obediently in the well-lubricated lock, and the heavy door of knurled iron opens silently on its hinges. K42 crosses the cement curb and passes the evergreen bush trimmed into the shape of a flying saucer. Before the house stands half a dozen scale models of the most famous sightings. There's the cigar shape photographed everywhere, lying on the ground on a support of solid bricks, and the Roswell flying saucer, half demolished. A rather approximate reproduction of the spacecraft from Close Encounters of the Third Kind, as large as a car, shines in the twilight of electric lights stuck on with glue, and is actually half-covered by a climbing plant on the side facing the house. The garden is chaos of grass clippings, rakes, other work tools, and mole repellents planted here and there. Right next to the gate is a pit, hand-dug and at least two meters deep. There's that construction site smell that takes him back to childhood, and the shovel used for the work is planted in the mound of loose earth at the edge of the hole, just as his bricklayer father used to do before lunch break. Calluses, sweat, and fatigue.
"My husband is strong as a bull. As long as he has muscles and can get it up, he'll always cheat on me. Better he goes first, killed by a thug who wanted to steal the jewelry..."
The second key is also docile and silent. It opens a hand-crafted wooden door, and the dimness of a living room with leather sofas, solid wood furniture, and velvet curtains welcomes him into the most ordinary country house imaginable. K42 moves with light steps, avoiding tripping on the carpet under the ten-person table and bypassing the turned-off TV, then locates the safe. It's built into the wall at the beginning of the corridor, behind the framed Chagall print, and he sees it by moving the frame just slightly.
"Enter with the keys I'll get to you, and when you hear him arrive, position yourself near Dream of Love, and he'll come at you in a fury. He's always in a fury. He's big and strong, but you know what you're doing. Make sure he gets some wounds and then put a bullet in his stomach. At that point, you'll have time to ransack the house, leave, close the door behind you, and then force it with a crowbar so they'll think it was a break-in. Bring a sturdy one."
And he could feel it weighing in his backpack, but he had to bear it. It was part of the play his client had calmly architected, feeding on bitterness and humiliation, which would serve to dismiss the cops with a few condolences muttered between teeth and an offer to help if needed. That woman may be cheated on, he thinks, but she's as evil as a witch.
The mirror at the end of the corridor could be useful for anticipating movements.
At the right angle, he'll see his victim while still in the living room, and he's sure that with a decisive push, bull-strong or not, he could send the husband back toward the fireplace and finish him with the poker. Knowing about a struggle, the cops would have an easy time and a path to follow. They'd look everywhere for hair, skin fragments, and drops of saliva. The bag he keeps in his pocket contains a bit of all this, collected from the barber shop, service station napkins, and the bar. Of him, K42, paid hitman with twelve unpunished murders to his name, they would find no trace.



The stranger waits for him in the bedroom.
She sits in a rocking chair that sways noiselessly on a carpet next to the valet stand, and she's not hospitable. She points a Glock 17 with a screwed-on silencer and looks like she knows how to use it. K42, backpack over his shoulder and revolver tucked in the side pocket next to the crowbar, raises his hands and can't help noticing her wide, intelligent blue eyes and those eyelids that don't blink in unison. Her lips are slightly parted in a hint of a smile, and the hand holding the weapon is as steady as a photograph. She wears a black turtleneck and equally dark pants so tight they leave nothing to imagination. She's one of those girls who can cross a beach stopping waves and taking away the breath of onlookers. She smells good, with a faint scent of vanilla lip gloss accompanying the mint smell of her candy.
"And who are you?"
"I'm the one asking questions. You, who are you?"
K42 considers a series of more or less evasive answers and finally yields to her probing gaze. He feels naked, vulnerable. "I'm a thief."
"Right, one who enters using keys. Bullshit! Who are you?"
"If I tell you, will you shoot me?"
"Since you've fucked up my job, I'll shoot you either way."
"What job?"
"I ask the questions. Who are you, what are you doing here, and who sent you? Why do you have house keys and a balaclava on your face?"
"I said, I came to steal."
"Then why aren't you stealing? As far as I know, in this room, apart from that questionable porcelain cat, there's nothing valuable, and the safe is in the hallway, behind the Chagall print..."
K42 feels his mouth go dry, and a taste of rotten apples replaces his saliva. He's sweating from his armpits, and the balaclava weighs like a helmet. He thinks the lady of the house has screwed him, that soon she'll ask for the advance back, and that the blonde is a cop. The thought crosses his mind that the wall closet might hide a couple of reinforcements and that an entire SWAT team could arrive from the bathroom. He can already hear the prison doors creaking.
"I came to kill the master of the house..."
This time her eyelids blink, and the half-smile vanishes in an instant. If you paid attention, the silencer's tip lost its target for a split second. The blonde is a little less icy than before when she saw him enter the bedroom. Nervous, she freezes on the rocking chair, which stops swaying, and it's clear she's considering whether to shoot him. She doesn't.
"Are you a cop?"
"God forbid!"
Pause. It lasts just long enough to question the meaning of life. K42 would pray if only he knew where to start.
"So you would have come to take out the homeowner, Mr. Mario Eliani."
"Exactly, him."
"An old slight, a betrayed friend, a screwed colleague?"
"No, the cheated wife."
And if the revolver weren't in his backpack, he could grab it and aim at the blonde, who lowers her weapon toward the floor and incredulously shakes her head. But when she jumps up as if the chair were a springboard, the blonde targets him again, takes a couple of steps back, and picks up a framed photo from the marble top of the dresser, next to the life-sized porcelain cat with a pair of brilliant green stones for pupils. The Eliani couple are photographed in 13 x 19 format, by the sea, after a walk in worn-out, faded beach shoes and before a waist-high wall good for sitting and eating ice cream. He's a strapping man; she's tall and slender. They're embracing, and there's a mischievous wind that ruffles the man's few hairs and lifts his wife's skirt, revealing a pair of long, still toned legs despite her age. The husband's leather jacket seems to date back to the Happy Days era, and she carries an unfashionable purse. A couple of sailboats complete the background.
"You really have to kill the husband, this handsome gentleman?"
He had memorized his face: broad jaw, precisely trimmed goatee, healthy complexion, and small, penetrating eyes under a pair of rather anarchic gray eyebrows. Baldness flaunted with dignity. He had studied the photos the wife had provided and had learned everything needed thanks to some stakeouts, to sniff his ass like dogs do.
"That's right. It's work, after all..."
"And this meek lady, all house and family, who has the courage to walk around with that skirt and that questionable purse, would have hired you to kill him?"
He squints, but that face means nothing to him. "I've never seen her. The job came through certain dark web channels."
"And the money?"
"Bitcoin."
The Glock now aims at his head. "Off with the balaclava!"
"Wait..."
The blonde grimaces. "I don't have the time or patience to wait, and I'm in charge here. Let me see your face."
He stalls. "I don't think the Red Cross sent you. What are you doing in this house?"
Her eyes laugh, a mixture of malice and desperation. The twisted grin is frightening, and the gun is steady. No tremor or doubt, and from that distance, she would hit him without even taking aim.
"I came to kill the lady, and now I have to shoot you..."
The gesture is sudden. K42 steps back and shields himself with his hands. "No, stop. Wh...what do you mean, kill the lady?"
"I have to hide under the bed, wait until she loads up on sleeping pills like she does every night, and then suffocate her in her sleep. They'll think it was sleep apnea. The lady suffers from it, and those junk meds she takes for sleeping can cause it..."
"And how do you know that?"
"Those are the instructions the husband gave me, and I'm capable of consulting a medication leaflet online..."
"The husband, my target?"
"Apparently. Mario Eliani is worried because he suspects his wife wants to kill him." She peers through the holes in the balaclava, and K42 feels a shiver running up his back. "And look at that, he was right..."
The calculation is quick, especially when the bullet in the chamber is ready to go.
K42 knows how to handle women and knows that, even armed, they always think before acting. He controls his voice, which comes out as steady as the hand of a bomb disposal expert handling wires.
"So, if I get this straight, if I came to eliminate Mr. Mario and you're waiting for his wife to take her out, and each of them hired each of us..."
The blonde adopts a subtle sarcasm. "Good, continue. You don't seem stupid..."
"Neither of them, husband or wife, will return home tonight."
"And we'd better disappear from the radar before things go to hell."
"I think exactly like you, colleague."
Sometimes, a step forward weighs like a cast-iron pour, and the room temperature rises accordingly. The four steps the blonde takes, until bringing the silencer's tip a few centimeters from the balaclava, open a new debate.
"Except that you've seen my face, chubby, and there are two options. Either you show me your ugly mug and we're even, or I'll rearrange your features with a lead anti-wrinkle cream. I'll open a third eye in the middle of your forehead, what do you say?"
He would have preferred to remain anonymous, but so it goes. The bargaining power of a loaded gun equals the charisma of an unscrupulous businessman with his entire entourage of lawyers. He raises his hands and calmly brings his right one to grip the fabric, and slowly, as if unveiling a statue at an inauguration, the balaclava slides off. First over the chin with its distinctive dimple, then over the fleshy lips surrounded by a hint of dark mustache, and then over that slightly oversized nose that had cost him some frustration in his youth. His eyes are gray, the color of ash, and his forehead is low, with some expression lines that amplify with tension before the beginning of a head of thick, long hair. The last strands, those on top of his head, are pulled up by the wool. Finally, they fall back into the pile with a comical effect.
She studies him, focuses on the details, investigates his gaze, and with quick eye movements brings the shape of that face into focus, and finally relaxes. She lowers the Glock and sighs. "But who are you?"
K42, as mentioned, knows women well and knows how vulnerable they can be when caught in the shadow zone between distrust and trust. He knows that among the certainties of the existence he has chosen to lead, one is never to associate his face with his profession, or his voice, or that way of moving his hands, bending his neck, or simply walking.
The sudden headbutt he delivers to the blonde is so strong that her skull cracks and her upturned eyes confirm that her brain has stopped functioning, and then, as soon as the Glock with the entire silencer falls to the floor, his hands close around her slender, long neck and squeeze.

They tighten.

Surrounded by a deep wine-red hue that matches the swelling of the arteries, two taut cords beneath the skin stretch across the entire neck. The air is cut off, the beautiful lips contort into an unrecognizable shape, and saliva foams between clenched teeth, trickling down in thin, milky rivulets. Arms, legs, the entire body convulses in erratic spasms. Then the eye sockets flood with blood, and only a faint, imperceptible thread of air scrapes through the throat. Suddenly, the strength drains from the legs, and the blonde—who once made the sea waves halt and stole the breath of men on the beach—collapses onto the bedroom floor. Her legs cross over each other as if in a yoga pose, palms facing upward in silent surrender. Her final gaze locks onto the ceiling.

K42 nudges the pistol away with his foot, crouches down, and presses his ear to her lips. The last breath is trapped within her lungs.

He needs to catch his breath, wait for his heart to stop thrashing inside his ribcage. Then clean up. Scatter false clues. Disappear. A failed job is a stain not easily erased, but if his career is at risk, his life might still be salvageable.

He must take the body and hide it somewhere safe.

Even if his killer’s hands were gloved, the thousands of microscopic saliva bubbles she expelled in her struggle must have landed everywhere—in her hair, in the fibers of her clothes, on her skin. In the carpet beneath the rocking chair. The virus of murder is everywhere, ready to be placed under a microscope, ready to speak. Ready to name names.

His plan is simple. He’ll get on the bicycle, retrieve the car from the city, return, and load the body—all before one of the Elianis comes home. He’ll figure out the rest along the way.

The hallway, the mirror, the print of Chagall’s Dream of Love. The spacious living room with leather sofas and a massive table.

The twilight has melted into darkness.

The sliding door moves smoothly, and outside, the air is fresh. The garden, still in progress, is strewn with scattered tools, heaps of clippings piled here and there, and mole-repelling devices. There’s the Roswell crash UFO. The cigar-shaped one. And the moon. It casts a bluish light over the landscape, spreading like a shroud over a corpse.

He fumbles in his pocket and finds the key to the outer gate, built from construction iron. The welded inscription on the architrave reads CONIUGI ELIANI, but seen from behind, it looks like an alien mantra: INAILE IGUINOC.

And that’s when K42 feels the breath of death.

The shot comes from the spaceship in Close Encounters of the Third Kind.

The bullet zips through the row of lights along the hull, strikes his ribs, tears through his back, and exits his abdomen, carrying with it a piece of him—flabby, red, and stringy. His legs give out. He falls to his knees, then crumples. His hand pressing against his stomach does nothing to stop the blood from gushing out. His curses spill out incoherent, shredded by pain.

A pair of long legs, still toned despite age, descend from the craft with practiced agility. A woman in a gray-silver tracksuit strides toward him, gripping an automatic pistol.

K42 thinks that Mrs. Eliani looks even better in person than in photographs—and that her husband is even more imposing than that burly man standing beside her in the seaside snapshot.

They both watch him writhe in the dirt. Then, without ceremony, she grabs him by the feet and drags him a few meters away. She lets him roll into the pit dug in the garden. The impact rattles his organs, and a fresh spray of blood spurts from the wound.

From down here, Mrs. Eliani looks even taller.

Two powerful floodlights mounted on the house’s facade blaze to life, cutting through the dark like a blade.

"Darling, will you take care of the sign?"

Her husband’s voice is deep, perfectly suited to his stature.

"I’ll do it after I fetch the other one," he replies, and K42 watches his shadow disappear from the edge of the pit.

His stomach acid rises, scraping his throat like a sea urchin. Mrs. Eliani conceals her sadistic grin among the folds of her wrinkles. Out of spite, she kicks dirt into the grave. He can do nothing to stop himself from swallowing it.

"Wha… what did I do?" Every word costs him agony, and the pain is unbearable. His blood has soaked his pants up to his knees. The crowbar grins its jagged teeth at his shoulder blade. The pistol lies useless and cold at the bottom of his backpack.

Another kick of dirt. This time, it clogs his nostrils.

"You pulled one heist too many, bastard!" she sneers, then walks away. Soon, the lanky shadow vanishes as well, leaving him alone to fill a grave that reeks of labor—calluses, sweat, exhaustion.

He thinks of his robberies. The boss, always in disguise, who orchestrated them. The gang that gathered in an abandoned warehouse to discuss details. They all wore masks, all used voice modulators. There was Bugs Bunny, Pluto, Popeye, and even Andreotti. He himself always wore a plastic Bill Clinton mask—the 42nd president of the United States. That’s why he had chosen the number 42 for himself.

And through all those heists, only one person had died: Ettore Foiano, a young, foolish bank clerk who had tried to play hero. He and the Queen of England had to shoot him together.

And then—

The blonde’s weight slams onto him like a meteorite, and the shock forces him to vomit blood. Darkness swallows his vision. Deafness dulls the world. A vibration of shattered bones hums through the earth.

He faints.

Then wakes immediately. But he can no longer feel his legs.

It seems as if his belly is full of liquid, sloshing like gasoline in the bottom of a canister. And then…

Mrs. Eliani reappears, this time holding a shovel.

She laughs.

"The Queen of England will keep you company."

"Bitch," he snarls, hoping to scream. But his voice is feeble, a mere shadow of a rage too weak to manifest.

"You shot her in cold blood, and now my husband and I will rewatch the video at our leisure. Remember the porcelain cat? It was a camera. Would you have ever guessed? You and that whore—what a show you put on!" she cackles as the first shovelful of dirt—heavy with sharp stones—falls over the lifeless blonde, over the Queen of England.

The second mound of earth mingles with his blood. And the robbery scene blazes before his eyes, a film projected onto the darkness.

Three customers stood in line.

One wore wide-wale corduroy pants, a little frayed. Another had on a windbreaker, too cautious for the season shifting into spring. The last—a twenty-year-old blonde, full of hope—was polished and pristine, like a mannequin in a storefront.

The guard was being held by his colleague, the one wearing a Scalfaro mask—gripping his hair, pressing a gun to his temple.

The first teller had her hands up, jeans soaked in urine. The second had shut off her emotions, a statue of salt.

Then there was Ettore Foiano.

First, he had tried to press the alarm. Then, he made the fatal mistake of reaching into his leather bag for his personal weapon. And so he—Bill Clinton—and at the same time, she—the Queen of England—had fired through the glass.

Bang—one shot to the chest.

Bang—one to the base of the neck.

Bang.

The third bullet had taken half his cheekbone.

Ettore Foiano had died a fool.

Mrs. Eliani is cruel.

She takes her time. A shovelful of dirt at a time.

And as the last red-hot iron bar completes the inscription, as the earth begins to press on his neck, K42 understands.

He doesn’t need to see Mr. Eliani forge the final letter.

He knows.

And as his breath is replaced by soil, he watches the welding sparks divide into a thousand falling stars.

And the scent of smoke, molten metal, earth, and sweat takes him back—back to when he was just a boy.

venerdì 21 febbraio 2025

The Aspiring Writer’s Survival Guide: Spoiler—You Won’t Make It

 





So, I published my first book. The publishers were thrilled. Then came the second, the third shortly after, and the fourth in no time. No chance to catch my breath. The promotion suffered, and sales were, shall we say, disappointing.

  • But were your books actually distributed?
  • Oh yes, in some bookstores, of course!
  • "Some" as in how many?
  • More than ten, less than twenty...
  • Talk about "breaking into the market."
  • Yeah, but you know what? Thousands of books come out every day. And if you calculate their volume and multiply it by two thousand...
  • Two thousand?
  • Sadly, yes. All debut authors, all brimming with enthusiasm. An army of soldiers marching straight into machine guns...
  • You mean the ever-optimistic aspiring writer?
  • Exactly! The one who sulks when they’re not on the bestseller list after a week. A sort of mass-produced Arturo Bandini—except he was a charming bastard, and that was another era. Back then, they paid upfront. Anyway, we’re talking about 1.90 cubic meters of books per day. Basically, a dump truck.
  • Not quite like delivering gravel to the high-speed railway construction site...
  • No, it’s just the sheer volume of books churned out daily by publishing houses. And this doesn’t even include self-published books.
  • Which amount to...?
  • No one really knows. Hundreds of thousands, maybe millions! It’s like our galaxy. For years, they’ve debated whether there are 200 or 400 billion stars, and they still haven’t figured it out. This is a nation of saints, sailors, and writers...
  • All brilliant, I assume.
  • Until proven otherwise, yes. But nature teaches us that when balance is lost...
  • It goes without saying...
  • It goes without saying that bookstores can only stock 0.4% of the books published by traditional publishers—and not a single one by self-publishing authors.
  • Well, that’s something!
  • If it were GDP growth, it’d be great news!
  • Instead, it’s the new literature: measured in cubic meters, like natural gas.
  • So, to get noticed, you hustle for book signings, chase after reviews and newspaper articles. Book signings were a godsend—before Covid. For reviews and press, you queue up and hope to charm a blogger.
  • You mean, like, the Pope?
  • Some bloggers act like that! I once had a spat with the editor of a top-tier blog. Actually, no, the top-tier blog.
  • Why? You’re as peaceful as a sloth in summer.
  • Nothing major. I asked them to review a book of mine that won a literary contest. Then another one that won a festival. And... they refused.
  • What a delight. And why was that?
  • Because I’m not famous.
  • But famous authors don’t care about blog reviews. They go on late-night talk shows.
  • Try explaining that to him
  • No thanks. I’d be too blunt, and you seem hopelessly diplomatic. So, what now?
  • Now, I push on social media.
  • Which ones?
  • Easier to say which ones I don’t use...
  • Okay then, which ones don’t you use?
  • Let me think... Nope, I’m on all of them.
  • Even X?
  • Even that cesspool!
  • But X is just an insult arena! Nobody cares about novels! The only book-related hashtag is #book!
  • Well, since I was at it...
  • And what do authors do on all these platforms?
  • It’s a charming little mess. Rarely do they encourage each other. Sometimes they read one another. More often, they despise each other, dodge each other like sidewalk dog poop, badmouth each other, reject criticism, get outraged over feedback, and desperately try to sell their books. They buy their competitor’s ebook just to slap it with a one-star review. They brag about their Amazon ratings, which for all I know, could be written by their aunt in exchange for walking her poodle to the pedicurist.
  • And yet, none of these books make it to bookstore shelves because of the sheer volume...
  • Exactly. Just like the cubic meters of gravel.
  • No way out. You need a blog!
  • Already got one.
  • A blog is serious business!
  • Tell me about it. High-quality content, award-winning short stories, exclusive pieces, SEO-friendly keywords blessed by Google Trends. Google Analytics as my sidekick, and relentless social media sharing.
  • On which platforms?
  • Practically all of them.
  • Right, I forgot. Hate to break it to you, but it’s all useless.
  • In what way?
  • Old news. Overdone. Links are dull, they glaze over people’s eyes, pass unnoticed like yet another streaming TV series.
  • So what now?
  • Now, videos! Short, snappy, TikTok-style. Slogans, flashy visuals. Think ‘80s luxury ads. Words are boring, lectures are annoying. People don’t have time. You need balls of steel, a smooth pitch, a decent microphone, studio lighting like a daytime talk show, and a solid video editor. And then you. You need to flirt with the camera, seduce your followers. It’s the author that sells, not the book!
  • But I’m shy!
  • Then you shouldn’t have become a writer!
  • But writers are supposed to be grumpy hermits, hunched over their desks like modern-day Leopardi, living on unrequited love. And besides, I’m not photogenic!
  • Let me see... right profile... left... forehead...
  • I just don’t have that charming, smug smile, you know? I can’t even fake it.
  • Yeah, breaking the screen takes something else. Have you done the swimsuit test?
  • Are you saying I should...?
  • Worst-case scenario, post a shot of yourself on a rock by the sea, looking like you just wrestled an octopus barehanded. Your abs aren’t flabby, are they?
  • What does this have to do with writing novels?
  • Everything! Listen, I hate to be blunt, but you’ve got two choices: either you die and pray for posthumous fame, or you hit the gym... or...
  • Or?
  • Or cause a scandal. Get on TV and make headlines. Something harmless—like dating the heir to the throne of some irrelevant kingdom or streaking naked through the city center on a Saturday afternoon. Helicoptering, of course...
  • Naturally. That’d land me a couple of months in jail.
  • Exactly! You’ll become an influencer, and then—whoosh! Sky’s the limit!
  • So, no more mystery, aloofness, and that touch of arrogance great authors could once afford?
  • Old news. You need to sell yourself cheap: free books online, book trailers, and self-interview videos.
  • I can’t do it.
  • You’re obsolete, my friend. While we’re talking, let’s see... another 240 books have just been published.
  • And if I go to sleep, by the time I wake up...
  • Exactly! Tomorrow morning, it’ll be a thousand more. Sleep is for losers. Get to work!
  • Now?
  • When else? You’re already aging out of the trend! By the way, have you run a social media poll to see what people actually want to read?
  • Like what?
  • Like, I don’t know—do they prefer the usual girl found dead in the woods, the omnipotent serial killer, the detective with a nervous tic, or the German shepherd with Sherlockian instincts?
  • But isn’t it the writer’s job to set the trend, define the style, and take risks?
  • Sure, but that way you lose your target audience, botch your branding, miss your market, and fumble your communication. Think about it.
  • I have. I’m starting a gardening blog.

martedì 11 febbraio 2025

Less is More: A Writer's Guide to Purposeful Prose





 Words belong to books; there’s no need to spare them. And we all agree on that. A medium-length novel, let’s say between fifty and a hundred thousand words, can tell even a complex story well, choosing to emphasize certain aspects over others, to describe, explain, deepen, instruct, and evoke emotion. But are we sure all these words are used in the best possible way? Are we certain that selfishness, narcissism, and sometimes the frustration of the author do not shape the story? Sometimes, they do. I read a lot, and in doing so, I often come across writers (many, to be honest) who tend to explain everything, who particularly love putting every single thought of the protagonists into words (the so-called stream of consciousness), without allowing the reader to simply grasp it. It’s an approach to writing that I do not love—in fact, I’d say that it almost always sets the stage for that inevitable drowsiness, the one that surprises you with the book slipping onto your lap and the bookmark irretrievably lost between the pages. This happens to me because I believe that readers deserve respect, that they are intelligent enough and sufficiently engaged in the story to perceive, for example, the chemistry between two lovers without the writer having to spell out every single thought, every minor doubt, and every fleeting sensation.
Take Diego and Alice, for example. They’ve just met and are about to share a night of passion. He (already head over heels, like overcooked pasta left in boiling water for twenty minutes) thinks about not revealing his excitement too much, about not embarrassing himself due to his messy house, about the many clues to his profession scattered around. In the end (because in books and films it can never go otherwise), they make love, followed by satisfaction and that wonderful post-coital tranquility that comes in such moments.
Now, certain writers—who are not exactly my reference points—would put it down like this:
“He invited her in. He was anxious. He didn’t want to expose his adolescent enthusiasm, his all-too-obvious excitement crawling under his skin. He thought about doing something different, something that might make Alice believe that he, so accustomed to women, their whims, and the discovery of all those wonderful hidden buttons that made them docile, knew how to control his senses. Love, the kind made between the sheets, would come later, slowly. He watched the fish swimming in the aquarium. The idea that she might get impatient and end up jumping on him convinced him to focus on them. He grabbed the fish food and sprinkled it in bits into the tank. He remembered his mother doing the same after wiping her hands on her apron and how his father watched her when she did. As the flakes floated on the water, reflecting the purple glow of the lamp, he suddenly thought that Alice might be offended, that turning his back to her was bad manners, and that the wallet in his jeans pocket was probably ruining his nice butt—and everyone knows how much women appreciate a nice butt. He could hear her breathing, and the atmosphere became polluted with embarrassment. He remembered that he hadn’t made his bed that morning, that he had cycled for half an hour, and that his sweaty clothes hadn’t been washed—something that could ruin the moment. Sometimes, it’s a tiny, insignificant detail that ruins the poetry. And then they began making love—at first with some squeaky gears, then with the oil of passion lubricating the driest cogs. He thought he didn’t deserve that girl, so beautiful, so passionate. She was perfect. He tried to recall others just as beautiful, but none came to mind. He convinced himself that overthinking would sap precious energy from where it mattered most, and he wanted to last, to stay in the moment, to punch a ticket to paradise, to withstand the seismic event that was shaking him to his very core… He concluded that he didn’t deserve her, but in the end, his pleasure erased all doubts. As the moment unfolded, as that fragment of life projected itself before his eyes like fireworks on an August night, memories of disappointments, failures, and days wasted in anger came rushing back. All reset, rewound like an old cassette tape with a film recorded from television. All it took was the soft, warm, and tender Alice—the most beautiful girl in town—who, on that ordinary day at the beginning of an ordinary summer in an ordinary year of an ordinary century, had crossed his path to show him the way to happiness. Overwhelmed by a storm of emotions and tossed by the immense waves of joy, he finally wept.”
Beautiful, I like it. After all, I just wrote it. :) Certainly, it’s not my style. It’s a forced exercise I undertook to demonstrate that verbose writing ultimately reveals its limitations—and sometimes, it confuses. When I wrote that scene for real in my novel One Night to Stay Alive, I put it down exactly like this:
“He invited her in and fed the fish in the aquarium; a 150-liter tank with half a dozen angelfish, four pairs of kissing gouramis, and a busy crew of bottom feeders, all immersed in an atmosphere suspended between violet and blue. He felt a little ashamed of his unmade bed, of the pair of sweaty socks forgotten at the foot of the exercise bike, and especially of those cat carriers stacked like a tower in the corner of the room. He got lost in Alice’s big, dark eyes, which she knew how to fill with passion, and then, when desire loosened the brakes, he admired the velvety skin and perfect proportions of that body, down to its most hidden details. His intention to resist was soon shattered by the seismic upheaval unleashed upon him. He was so happy he struggled to hold back tears.”
As you can see, I prefer concise writing.
And for action scenes? For violence? The same principle applies. In the genre I write, action-packed and violent scenes are quite frequent. In my thriller The Sixth Destination, for example, I developed the idea of a sniper missing his target like this:
“The wind she felt brushing her back was caused by the passage of a full metal jacket bullet. After making a small hole in the window glass, it took a fraction of a second to graze her spine, split Cinzia’s head open like a melon, and rip through the boss’s guts, sending him staggering backward until he collapsed onto the photocopier still in operation. Silvia, the girl who had spent the last ten minutes loading one sheet at a time into the machine, heard the thud of the bullet ending its run at 830 meters per second, shattering the mechanisms. And she didn’t understand. She didn’t understand because, from the corner of her eye, she had glimpsed a red stain replacing her colleague’s head, and she didn’t understand why the boss lay on the floor, doubled over and convulsing. When, along with a piece of her elbow, she saw a large bloodstain on the wall, she finally understood what was causing the excruciating pain in her arm. It was the second shot.”
Here, no one is thinking. Only instinct, fear, and blood. Yet, I swear, there are books where a similar scene would be used as an excuse to insert a philosophical reflection or, worse, a recycled aphorism. So I insist: words belong to books, but let’s not take advantage of them. The reader does not deserve to endure our narcissism at the wrong moment, nor should they have to focus on reading as if competing in the world chess championship. As I see it, writing is music. Every instrument must follow the rhythm, respect the tempo, and know when to fall silent. There are crescendos, decrescendos, and pauses. The writer has the privilege of possessing a symphony (the story), the best musicians (their talent), and the conductor’s baton to ensure a flawless execution. I would call that humility.

venerdì 7 febbraio 2025

The Horror of Ordinary Life





"Yes, hurrah, I could write a book about zombies! I'd plunder thousands of pages of literature and cinema, so much cinema. You know, the first zombie movie dates back to nineteen hundred... Wait, let me check Google..."
"Save your fingertips! You'd only be plundering material that others have already plundered. You'd just be serving the same reheated soup."
"Are you sure?"
"Of course I'm sure!"
"So zombies are a no."
"Let them rot in peace."
"How do you feel about a detective story with an inspector?"
"You mean the usual inspector who's despised by the entire precinct, smokes without restraint, clings to the bottle like it's his mother's breast, has a wife and kids who refuse to see him, and when the case stalls, decides to take justice into his own hands?"
"An inspector like that, but without the mother's breast part. You know, it might make the whole thing slip into incest."
"Leave it alone..."
"Why?"
"Because it's a cliché – one that sells, God knows, but still a cliché."
"A pathologist then! A forensic pathologist who solves cases. I actually know a pathologist. I'm not saying he'd take me on a honeymoon to the morgue, but he could give me some tips about his profession and some gruesome details. Maybe I'll invite him to dinner..."
"But there are thousands of those!"
"Of pathologists who solve cases?"
"Who else?"
"But I'll give him a vice..."
"After Bukowski's books, there's no vice left that holds up."
"A birth defect then. I'll make him dyslexic!"
"That already exists..."
"A dyslexic pathologist?"
"Not exactly. It's a detective, but what's the difference!"
"Can I say a bad word?"
"No!"
"Shit!"
"You said it!"
"After the dyslexic inspector, I had the right. What if I switched to a serial killer?"
"Hmm, a bit overused but always interesting..."
"I'll make him special... Ah, listen to this idea... He's a serial killer who doesn't know he's one. I mean, he dissociates. He replaces his persona by imagining himself as a brute crossing the desolate countryside in an old van..."
"Already done..."
"Really?"
"Oh yes!"
"A homeless serial killer. One who hides in other people's homes and..."
"You're late to that party, my dear!"
"One who goes around unarmed and when he has to kill his victim, improvises..."
"Already done."
"And who would this genius be?"
"I'd tell you but I can't. It's the same author as this story and he'd end up being disqualified."
"I'll read something of his."
"You should, he's good."
"A serial killer who kills virgins!"
"Oh God!"
"He goes around wearing a mask!"
"Ugh!"
"He's a religious fanatic."
"Come on! Are you giving up?"
"No, damn it! I'll write a story with femmes fatales, criminals, vampires, and demons cheerfully chasing each other among city skyscrapers!"
"You forgot the werewolves..."
"It wouldn't work, would it?"
"Maybe it would, if we were in 1948, a bit before the advent of television."
"Infernal machines, lethal epidemics, interplanetary coups... A xenomorphic organism - an extraterrestrial parasite that single-handedly exterminates the entire crew of a large space cargo..."
"Who are you trying to fool?"
"Doesn't work?"
"No way, beautiful!"
"Let me think. An idea must come to me, sooner or later... I've got it. An enormous library, full of books with the names of all people who have lived and are living on this earth written in them..."
"And with their birth and death dates, perhaps..."
"Yeah, perhaps! Why are you laughing? Ah, I get it, already done. Let's try then with the story of a child who talks to the dead, an Indian cemetery that brings corpses back to life, a frustrated girl with telekinetic powers, an epidemic where everyone's dead but the people at the Arctic base don't know anything. A story with a corpse preserved in a fridge, an Amazon expedition that discovers the tree of life at the center of the ecosystem, a society where they burn books, an abandoned hotel in the mountains, someone who has a car accident and is cared for by a strange nurse... Some young fellows who venture out in search of a corpse?"
"Come on, don't let yourself go. You need to stay calm and you'll see, an idea will come. Right now you're stressed and you won't get anything out of that little head of yours. It's late now. I need to throw something together to eat and then I'm going out. I have yoga class, you know?"
"And I'm sad..."
"About this inspiration thing? Don't think about it and you'll see it'll get better. Now don't be offended, but I really have to go..."

Today my friend has been cynical, more than usual.
I leave her when she's already focused on finding something in the back of her pantry that can be ready in less than ten minutes, and in just five stirs of a spoon.
On the landing, with the door now closed behind me, I sink into the confused sounds of a couple of televisions, unwitting messengers of the same lie. I choose not to take the elevator and face the eight floors stepping on pristine steps. They seem not to have aged at all, and to have preserved in them a bit of the smell of those years, when apartment buildings replaced meadows with the same speed with which night alternated with day. I form an idea of which reheated dishes were preferred for that evening and am surprised that the tenant on the third floor is singing a song against the fragrant backdrop of sautéing.
Outside, the usual street, which seems to have not yet digested the afternoon traffic.
A procession of pedestrians defies death, heads bowed and faces barely lit by the opaque reflection of the sidewalk.
A couple of cyclists faces the green light with an underlying tension that can be felt from a distance. He, with square pedaling and curved shoulders, heads straight for the service road on the opposite side. She follows him, nervously huddled in her gray leotard.
The beggar at the corner hasn't left yet, and the homeless woman under the lamppost seems to have found company.
The businessman arrives menacingly, maintaining the exact center of the sidewalk. He brandishes his briefcase like a battering ram, and his secretary follows him with breath scraping in her throat. She's tired and walks fighting with the constraints of a too-tight skirt. She has X-shaped knees that converge inelegantly toward the center, heels dangerously seeking a manhole to slip into, and in her eyes the desire to go home, and to do it as soon as possible.
The mother struggles to keep the capricious child in check. Five years old, maybe six, and a cascade of decibels to vent into the ears of the unfortunate around them. The woman apologizes with a forced smile, placed on her face as if it were fake.
The street vendor with roasted chestnuts could still package a few more bags, but has been systematically ignored by all passersby. I move on, clearly perceiving the watershed between disappointment and anger. The girl behind me, twenty years worn poorly and an organic chemistry formula bouncing confusedly in her brain, stops in front of the roasted chestnuts, hesitates, and leaves without buying any.
I pass the newsstand with a mummy inside, the window of a stationery store that has lost faith in itself, and the dusty collection of an antique dealer.
Finally, I reach the metro stairs and catapult myself into rush hour hell.
The train has already pierced the station's saturated air with a roar and welcomes me into an atmosphere of unreal heat and brake stench.
In the car, an amorphous regiment of human beings is attracted to their phone screens. They sway, synchronized with every movement, and sometimes feel the need for support. A forest of hands projects everywhere, searching for the right hold. The man with tortoiseshell glasses misses his mark and messes up the snow-white hair of the little old lady with the dog in her arms. The exchange of apologies and pleasantries is seasoned with a nauseating blend of hypocrisy and good manners.
The girl on the other side of the car is metaphorically naked.
She's devoid of a phone or a companion to converse with. The dirty window doesn't reflect the image of her beautiful face.
We look at each other, across the few meters that divide us and the thousand life stories enclosed by zippers.
I imagine her under a straw umbrella, set in the hot white sand of a tropical beach, with the light breeze that precedes sunset, the sun's reflection on the shoreline, and a spread of red clouds on the horizon. For a moment, I perceive a breath passing through her black hair.
She hints at a smile, shy, drawn with a light stroke behind the evaporated memory of lip gloss. We seem made for each other, but we can't find the courage to speak.
When my stop arrives, too soon and suddenly, I get off with two solid certainties.
The first is that I will never see the metro girl again.
The second is that I've had an idea for a book.
It will be set in the streets of my city and it will be a horror story.

sabato 1 febbraio 2025

Screens - Where Beauty Never Dies

 





If only I could find a flaw in her. Something to give me courage, something to bring her closer to planet earth, to being human...
The perfection of her face embarrasses me. The smooth skin, the broad forehead, the large, widely-set eyes, grey like the sky at daybreak.
The curve of her chin beneath her heart-shaped lips, slightly parted over rows of white teeth, harmonizes with her firm breasts, and her costume jewelry pendant points the way to paradise. Her dark hair cascades in wide waves over her shoulders. I'm sure it smells of shampoo.
If only I could find a flaw in her.
Now playful, now fatal, cheerful, pensive.
A pair of large tortoiseshell glasses projects her into the world of intellectuals. A couple of unbuttoned buttons and suddenly a mighty sea of foam and wind materializes behind her, at the end of the white beach of a distant island. The lights conspire with her. She would look good under the warm beams of halogen lights just as well as in the livid sadness of a police station's fluorescent lighting.
I place my phone on the small table, next to the beer glass I've drunk in three gulps to overcome my fear. The screen dims the colors and then goes dark.
Six or seven steps separate us: the run-up for a penalty kick. When I take the first step, awkward, heavy, final as a gravestone, my thoughts are the same as those of someone about to kick that ball that will move more money than a million factory workers on the assembly line.
Anxiety, fear of failure, of losing that chance that won't come again.
She's tall, with a sweep of legs that mortifies the bar stool. Her pleated skirt, ending a few inches above her knees, is in a discreet blue that matches well with her slightly lighter blouse. Summer is in the air, and now I'm close enough to smell her sweet scent.
"Hi. I'm Francesco, and you... You must be Lisa."
Her lips curl for an instant, and yes, I think I've found the flaw, the one that gives me courage. Next to her elbow resting on the counter, I see a red aperitif, garnished with an orange slice stuck on the sugar-rimmed glass. The bartender, with his suspicious tan and sleeves rolled up over strong arms, grasps the importance of the moment and moves away under the pretext of reaching for the hanging towel.
"And how do you know my name? Have we met somewhere before?"
The question is legitimate, and the price to pay is the weakness in my knees that I hope doesn't translate into the face of someone who urgently needs to run to the bathroom. The approach was pathetic, but I recover quickly.
"Ah, no. We've never met. You're... you're among my Instagram contacts and Facebook too, you see, and I recognized you." I point to my smartphone, with a third of its base awkwardly jutting out from the low table next to the couch. The muscular bartender rubs the inside of a glass with his fingers wrapped in the cloth and dispenses a conspiratorial smile. Lisa steps back to size me up better. She squints her eyes, points her finger, and hints at a crooked smile. I can tell from her mischievous look that she's placed me in the right box of social media contacts.
"Francesco Nine Three?"
I'm about to burst with pride. I beat my chest like Tarzan. "That's me. Ninety-three is my birth year."
"And tell me: is Francesco your name, or were you inspired by some saint?"
"No, what saint? Francesco Maria..."
She laughs. "Maria like the Virgin?"
I'm losing steam like an engine at the end of its life. The bartender has taken his ninety kilos of muscle to the back, and beyond the glass, the photos of a fading afternoon scroll by. Jackets open over loosened ties, slipping shoulder straps, heavy handbags, and freshly renewed lipstick. Selfies with colored glasses are mandatory, and not all cameras show mercy after a long day behind the desk.
"Like my grandmother..."
"Who was called Maria?"
I'm obvious, predictable. I remember the flush at the end of a piss, but despite this, the embodiment of beauty before me doesn't discard me. Maybe I amuse her, fill those five minutes before the really cool guy comes to pick her up. Maybe she has a soft spot for losers and I move her like the sunset after a hellish day.
"Are you paying?" The answer is implied. The bartender with the perfect pectorals plays the part of cashier, stylishly dons a pair of thin-framed glasses, and confidently punches the keys of the cash register. "That's twenty-three."
While I pay, Lisa rubs against me. Her warm breath carries a barely whispered thank you. The weakness in my knees shifts to a swarm of fierce butterflies tickling my belly.
Behind the shuffle wearing down the sidewalk, an Aston Martin DB11 cuts through the wall of the building like a diamond. It's swamp water green, or maybe lake blue contaminated with algae. Depends on how you look at it.
Sitting at the wheel is Lisa, waiting for me.
The first time doesn't last long, but I'm good at climbing stairs and diving back into the warm broth of the most welcoming pool in the world.
This time I have time to dedicate to details: to the turgidity of nipples that incise the chest, to the silk skin that raises the hair on my arms like an electric shock, to the coming and going of the belly, which rises and falls, and rises and falls like a ship with full sails that has gained the open sea.
The two-thousand-euro bottle of Louis Roederer is ready to pop its cork to accompany the canapés with large-grain caviar. The bedroom window embraces the sparkle on the sea's surface that anticipates the setting sun.
It's a dream, one of those to leaf through like a photo album.
Lisa doesn't hold back and breathes. Breathes and seems to want to accumulate all the world's energy to explode like a nuclear bomb. The certain thing is that I will blow up along with her.
The house is a modern building, low, with essential architecture. It appeared at the end of a white dirt road that crosses a pine forest surrendered to the whims of the wind and welcomed me with a studio of polished floors, high tech, and abstract paintings on the walls. The roof with exposed beams, only slightly inclined, is interrupted by the stone fireplace in the center of the space, preceded by a large sofa and a glass table ready for celebration. The door on the wall at the back opens onto a sumptuous bathroom and the bedroom. I already knew I would spend an unforgettable moment there.
When my heart begins to slow down, I notice the screen mounted on the wall. It's a twenty-six-inch LCD, mounted on an adjustable support. It shows from above a child of maybe two years. He sleeps in his crib with one arm pinched under his face and his long blonde hair spread like a fan on the blue pillow. While Lisa still seeks the natural rhythm of her breathing, the little one shows the serenity of the innocent. I don't have time to ask when she anticipates me.
"His name is Martino. He'll turn two in September. I had him with Valerio, my first husband..."
I wonder who the second husband is, and once again she reads my mind. "The second doesn't exist. Oh God, he'll come, also because the little angel needs a father, but for now nothing. Let's say I'm searching for the ideal candidate..."
The child is stunning.
Toxic, destructive thoughts chase each other. Lisa must have had a husband as beautiful as a god. I expect a merciless comparison, between muscles, intelligence, personality, and less apparent virtues. Come to think of it, I'm also quite broke, and my wallet is still bleeding after paying for the aperitif, and instead, apparently, Lisa has a standard of living that doesn't belong to me. I can still feel the vibrations of the Aston Martin propagating in my backside. I give voice to my mouth without thinking too much.
"Could it be me?"
The look is one of those that sucks all your blood and stores it in ice at the bottom of the freezer. I feel like the fish in the aquarium, like the insect caught by the heartless child and left to consume with fatigue at the bottom of the jar. "What?"
"The ideal candidate..."
Lisa pulls her knees up. They brush against my bare legs, and I feel the crank starting to turn again. I receive the kiss and turn to see the child on TV. Like his mother, he has changed position. Now he sleeps on his back, with his mouth seeming to devour the pillow.
"You could be, why not! The first interview, I'd say, went well and the second..."
I can still speak before being suffocated by a kiss. It ends after an eternity while her hand shifts into gear. "Interview? It doesn't seem like we talked..."
She sighs. "It was the practical test. After eating, we'll start with the interrogations. Does the program work for you?"
I like the program and I like how she kisses. My animalistic side likes it as it starts to stamp like a horse in the storm.
Lisa's phone vibrates on the marble surface of the small table, and all contacts short-circuit. I stop what I've started and dismount from the horse. She, struck by sudden modesty, pulls the sheet to her chin and answers.
It's a video call.
The screen frames an alpha male face: important jaw, salt-and-pepper beard neglected with wisdom, black and severe eyes like those of a commander. Lisa apologizes with a bit of embarrassment.
"It's Valerio, my ex-husband."
I wonder how long it takes him to mess up his hair so well and why the clavicle framed at the bottom of the display reminds me of the wrought iron of gates. His voice worthy of dubbing movie stars meets expectations.
"Did I disturb? Do you have guests?"
The answer is lapidary. "No, actually yes. To what do I owe your appearance?"
"Tomorrow will be windy. Strong. With Gigi and Sabri we had decided to go sailing. If it works out right, even Micky and Beppe are with us. You?"
I hope Lisa consults me but all in all it's better she doesn't. As a sailor I'm worth nothing and I think I would fall overboard at the first tack. To tell the truth, I'm scared of any liquid that stirs much more than gargling with salt or aspirin rolling in half a glass of water. I would have said no in front of the Greek god to disintegrate immediately after behind that macho smile.
"Good for you. And what do I do with Martino?"
This time the alpha male's voice doesn't mask the emotion. "How's the little one doing. Is he managing?"
"He runs like a train, plays, eats and shits but I'd say it's still too early to leave him alone with something to heat in the microwave and porn to watch on the web..."
Indeed, the child is special. He yawns and rubs his eyes, still sleepy in the middle of that serious face. I wouldn't be surprised if he were thinking about a business meeting. Lisa, instead, talks to the screen with the same transport she would have before a person in flesh and blood. Valerio doesn't give up:
"Don't leave him alone. Call the babysitter and put her to work changing diapers..."
When finally Lisa turns in search of my consent, I've abandoned the mattress and crossed the large room barefoot. I look outside covering my privates with my hand and while a halo of condensation forms around my nose pressed against the glass. There's no way to go out onto the blue-slippered terrace that overlooks the waves. The crystal, which occupies the entire wall, is mortised into the walls and floor like a dam in granite. The sea is becoming contaminated with some drops of black and the sky begins to get heavy. Lisa puts her ex-husband on hold. With the sheet around her, she wiggles to the computer in standby on the desk and calls the babysitter.
She answers after a series of chirps that remind of a love-struck pigeon.
She's as dry as a winter branch and invaded by extraterrestrial-sized blue eyes. Her hair appears dark due to the wetness but is blonde and stuck to her face. I don't see the towel around her neck but it's certain she just got out of the shower. The piercing on her nose gleams in the webcam frame as if catching the rhythmic light of a flasher. I discover after a moment that her name is Claudia.
Lisa sits on the edge of the chair, blocks the sheet on her chest with her hand and asks the babysitter if she has time and means to take charge of little Martino when she, ex-husband Valerio and the series of sporty friends ready for anything will delight themselves among the salty breakers in the scorching sun. Meanwhile, the child has engaged in a fight with the sheets and seems to be climbing the wall in the Dolomites of Cadore.
The negotiation doesn't last long. "Of course, Lisa, I'll keep him with me as long as necessary," she says, and Lisa repays her with that smile I've learned to know.
I decide to get dressed.
The window to the terrace is hostile, sealed like a coffin and my nudity embarrasses me. Valerio, the ex-husband, is still framed on the cell phone screen. He fiddles with his beard, makes faces and pushes his lips with his tongue until the tip peeks out. I pass, avoiding ending up in the frame and go beyond. There are things after sex that need to be done right away, like smoking and changing the fish's water. I remember having left my cigarettes in the Aston Martin.
The conversation between the two has become thick.
They talk about the weather, the sea, the thirteen-meter catamaran that rocks placidly in the waters of the small port, their respective love adventures. Claudia mentions a guy who reminds her of the god of the sea, Lisa laughs but delays in telling her about me. Little Martino, on video, has fought with the sheets to the point that they wrap him like a shroud.
The bathroom doesn't disappoint, just a bit, so to speak, solemn. Above the double sink, the mirror is carved inside a deep niche. No cabinet or rug. The shower box with the wooden base is completely transparent, the large whirlpool tub dominates the center of the floor in severe gray marble with bone-white striations. The same coating is used for the walls.
While Lisa and Claudia laugh in their video conference, I empty my bladder, open the shower water and dive into a wall of steam.
That pampers me, regenerates me.
Dissolves tensions and purifies the skin. I'm inside a parallel universe, I feel like I'm traveling on a flying saucer.
The deep sea blue shower gel smells of salt spray. It drips on my chest, on my legs and forms a bluish film that tickles my feet.
I allow myself a second round and sense through the coming and going of steam that Lisa is filling the whirlpool tub.
She has gathered her hair in a chignon, the bangs are divided unevenly: abundant on her left until covering the eye, reduced to a less consistent tuft of hair on the opposite side of the face. Immersed in the bubbling water that splashes on her face, she's serious enough to worry me.
"Everything okay, Lisa? Did you arrange with Claudia?"
She doesn't answer. She sinks under the bubbles. I fear I've offended her. I've worn the men's bathrobe that was hanging next to her microfiber one and maybe I've exceeded in confidence. She resurfaces after almost a minute.
She's breathless.
Water drips from her nostrils and the chignon has come undone in a series of uneven braids stuck to her shoulders and breasts. Without being asked, I remove the bathrobe and put it back in its place. Naked as a worm I'm not authoritative but I try anyway:
"Lisa, it was beautiful. Now... now I'll go back there, get dressed and then leave. So, good luck with the catamaran trip..."
She spits out the water she had swallowed. She has reddened eyes like after a long swim in the sea.
"But no! There's champagne and caviar canapés. You're not leaving without having drunk something first. Don't you think?"
"It would be a sin to say no to Louis Roederer..."
She lingers. With a cough she expels more water, from her nose and mouth. The smile is barely hinted at, should be interpreted between the lines of that beautiful face. "We'll drink it here. Go get it..."
And I return to the room. The skin warm from the steam clashes with the mild air of the environment. Still the sea slowly sinking into darkness, the unmade bed, the sheets abandoned on the ground on the way to the bathroom. Claudia's face, Lisa's friend babysitter, has remained impressed on the computer screen.
I'm struck by the fixity of her gaze, by her diaphanous skin, by the blue tracery of veins visible beneath the edematous bags under her eyes. The mild air in the room turns to ice.
I move closer.
Claudia appears dead but surprises me by vomiting a stream of water mixed with dark, soft matter.
Seaweed.
The second retch is even worse and splatters the video camera. The deep, guttural sound resembles an infernal moan.
I'm naked, my sex reduced to nothing, legs trembling. Fear.
Valerio, framed in Lisa's still-active phone, is dead. His hair is plastered to his skull, eyelids half-closed over fixed pupils, lips swollen and purplish. I move close enough to understand that the black background behind his head is a body bag, and I nearly faint when, with a single clean gesture, decisive as a guillotine blade, an anonymous hand pulls the zipper, closing the curtain on the scene.
The sixteen-inch screen hanging on the wall looks like an aquarium glass. There are bubbles, large and small, stuck to the surface, bubbles rising and a cloud of dirt floating formlessly in the center of the scene.
Water.
I want to scream but the cry gets caught between my tonsils and what I get is a convulsive cough and I feel cold. The darkness behind the window has conquered the sea and a sky poor in stars weighs like a manhole cover.
I want to go back to Lisa, warn her about what's happening but my feet are practically glued to the floor.
When I see the lifeless body of the child floating on the screen with arms spread wide, I fall to my knees as if I'd been shot.
Somehow, I return to the bathroom.
The whirlpool tub bubbles like a volcano and Lisa's hand has broken its nails in the attempt to get out. Now it's motionless, facing downward with the wrist bent over the edge.
My phone still works.
I no longer feel cold, or pain.
Naked, without the strength or ability to piece together the fragments of my soul, I connect to the social network and I see her there, wonderful. Now with intellectual glasses, now with beach sand mischievously stuck to her firm buttocks. Now dressed up for little Martino's christening. In the group photo everyone appears: Lisa, Valerio, the little one, Claudia, and all the other friends.
I understand only afterward that they drowned in the sea, dead, overwhelmed a year earlier by a sudden rogue wave. For social networks, however, and for my infinite naivety, Lisa continued to exist.
With time I found the spirit to get dressed but the screens haven't finished torturing me. The scenes perpetuate, the deaths repeat.
It's impossible to leave the house.
If I look out the window toward the sea, where days and nights alternate, if I approach the other windows scattered throughout the house, I see curious eyes converging on my desperation and enormous thumbs scrolling on the outside of the glass, scrolling, scrolling.
Scrolling.
I am dead but not deleted.
I continue to exist, sealed inside a social network like a little fish between the walls of its glass bowl.